On social media, I recently wrote:

“Every child deserves the love and presence of both parents. Yet so many fathers are denied parenting time, left out of important decisions, and treated like a stranger in their own child’s life. That’s not parenting—it’s erasure. #FathersRights”

The response I received was telling:

“If a father wants to be part of his children’s life, he can be, period. If mother is denying that, he files a motion with the court and presents his evidence in a non-emotional manner. The issue is that fathers lack the desire to take accountability… She is the one that gives birth, that is literally the woman’s role, to nurture and care for the children… Men need to step into their god-given role and stop playing the victim.”

This response isn’t just dismissive—it’s dangerous. It reflects outdated gender stereotypes, blind faith in a broken legal process, and a refusal to acknowledge how family courts actually function.

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The Myth of “Just File a Motion”

The idea that fathers can simply go to court and fix everything by filing a motion is a fantasy. Fathers do this every day. They spend thousands—or millions—filing motions, submitting evidence, and showing up for hearings. And yet, too many walk away empty-handed.

Family courts still cling to the presumption that mothers are the “primary caregivers.” Even when fathers win orders for visitation or communication, those orders are often ignored or unenforced. Contempt filings pile up with no consequence. Meanwhile, the financial burden of repeated litigation crushes fathers, draining their ability to keep fighting.

Telling a father to “just file a motion” is like telling a drowning man to “just swim harder” while holding him underwater.

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A Case Study: Jeff Reichert

Jeff Reichert’s story obliterates the “just file a motion” myth. Reichert is not only a father—he’s an attorney. He knew the process. He followed it. He filed every motion available. He spent over $1 million in legal fees since July 2020. He faced $300,000 in attorney-fee judgments and $100,000 in child support assessments. And still, he was cut off from his son Grant.

“I wasn’t stripped of basic communications. I was completely cut off.”

Reichert’s Timeline of Erasure:

• 2/2/22 – 9/12/22: Almost complete cutoff. Saw his son just three times in May 2022 under police supervision. No contact all summer.
• 9/12/22 (Video Day): Three-hour supervised visit in Maryland, overseen by his parents. A trial and order were issued.
• 9/12/22 – 5/30/23: Daily phone contact—sometimes hours a day. Grant confided everything. Reichert filed a Modification, a Protective Order, and two emergency motions after reports of abuse, CPS involvement, and his son citing suicidal thoughts. All denied. No in-person visits allowed.
• 5/30/23 – 8/20/23: Zero contact.
• 8/20/23 – 10/30/23: Supervised visits with Reichert’s mother. She reported abuse to CPS. Grant ran away again.
• 10/30/23 – present: No calls (except a single one in January 2025). No visits. Multiple modifications and protective orders filed. All denied.

Reichert sums it up plainly:

“I filed every single motion available. For three years, the court denied all of them, while focusing only on her improper filings and on punishing me with the threat of jail, instead of protecting Grant.”

This isn’t neglect. It isn’t disinterest. It’s a system that failed a father and a child, despite exhaustive efforts and overwhelming persistence.

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The Gender Role Trap

Equally harmful is the belief that women are “naturally” caregivers while men are only providers. This is not biology—it’s ideology. It ignores the fathers who are deeply nurturing, and the mothers who are neglectful or abusive. Parenting is not gendered. Children thrive when they receive the love, guidance, and stability of both parents, not when one is elevated and the other erased.

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Violence as a Distraction

The argument that men commit more violence, therefore fathers should be suspect, is collective punishment. Yes, men commit more violent acts. But most fathers are not violent. Most fathers are not abusers. And many mothers are. To paint all fathers as dangerous is not only discriminatory—it harms children who need their fathers’ presence.

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The Bottom Line

Fathers do not fail because they don’t “file a motion.” They fail because the system is rigged to ignore their motions, drain their resources, and uphold outdated presumptions about gender and parenting.

Jeff Reichert’s case proves this: he filed every motion, spent over a million dollars, followed every legal rule. And still, he was erased.

This is not about men “playing the victim.” It is about children losing their fathers to a system that profits off conflict, enforces stereotypes, and shrugs at alienation.

Every child deserves both parents. That is not negotiable. And until family courts are reformed to protect that right, fathers will continue to be erased—not because they didn’t try, but because the system made sure they would fail.

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Follow Jeff’s case at FreeGrantReichert.com